Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A talk about theme (and 87 bajillion guns)

A few years ago, a game by the original developers of Diablo and Diablo 2 came out. It was called Hellgate London and on the surface, it was awesome. Slick graphics, interesting idea, endlessly randomized and addictive.

There was only one problem: It...kinda sucked.

Actually, its funny that I say 'one' problem, when really, it was a plethora of minor mistakes that brought the game down, like a multitude of nanobots chewing an elephant to death. The first was the music and sound: Nearly nonexistent music combined with flat and boring sound effects do not a compelling experience make.

Now, sound might not sound like a huge deal (ha) but it really makes a huge impact. Sound design can make or break atmosphere in a big way. We're aural and visual creatures, and playing a game that serves great graphics and yet subpar sound is a great way to yank someone out of the experience. I mean, the basic gunshot sound in Hellgate was so flat and dull that I barely wanted to pull the trigger!

And no, swords sounded no better.

The second problem was theme. The opening intro movie, the monster design, the graphics, all of it pointed towards a very specific theme: Dark post-apoc, with grim everywhere. But then when you actually *play* the game, and *talk* to the NPCs, your ability to take them seriously as characters dies a quick and painless death, shot through the head by a quest givers that goof it up so much you'd almost think you were in a parody. In fact, most of the written lines WERE written like a parody.

But the game does not feel like a parody when you trudge through the bombed out ruins of London. In the end, it all felt so unreal and flat that I didn't care two whits for anyone or anything.

And the third and final problem was the randomization. Randomization is awesome, as it gives a game added depth and interest. The problem was...yeah, gun A and gun B might have totally different stats and be unique gemstones in the wild wild world of spreadsheets...but they both look, sound, and act the same in game. The armor might have different stats and abilities, but when they all LOOK like the SAME GODDAMN boring futuristic power armor I just want to stab myself!

And don't get me started on the levels. Oh the levels...yes, they were completely random, good job! But they didn't feel like...places. They felt like...random mazes. That worked for Diablo and Diablo 2. Want to know why? Because we didn't *know* Tristriam like the backs of our hands, and even though the maps were random, they still *felt* like a *place*.

In Hellgate: London, you do not feel like you are in London. You do not feel as though you are in any recognizable city. They could have called it Hellgate: Liberty City...but even that would be inaccurate, for Liberty City still feels like fucking Liberty City.

No, a better name would be Hellgate: Generic. Cause in their attempt to make an endlessly random game, they ended up with...well, an endlessly random generic mush.

And so, it seemed like the FPS/Action/RPG hybrid was doomed, with only the distant Diablo 3 and the occasional third party games like Silverfall to come and give us loot gathering, sword slinging addicts something to do.

...and then.

And then...

And then came...

Borderlands.

And let me get something out of the way, right now: Borderlands is *FUCKING AWESOME*. If I were to describe it in a single pithy sentence, I'd say "Hellgate: London done right (in space).

The game takes place on Pandora, a distant and shitty planet of dust, bandits, and aggressive wildlife. However, on Pandora there is rumored to be a Vault containing infinite wealth and treasure and alien technology. So, logically, you play as one of four treasure hunters who has come to Pandora to find the Vault and get stinking filthy rich. Unfortunately, there is a hostile planet between you and the Vault...

Fortunately, you have the help of 87 bajillion guns.

Yes. Bajillion.

And guess what? They were serious. There are literally 87 bajillion guns in this game, subdivided into 6 categories.

So, we have...

Pistols: Automatic Pistols, Semi-Automatics, Revolvers...
SMGs: SMGs that shoot fire! SMGs that shoot rockets!
Combat Rifles: 3 shot pinpoint bullpups, full on machine guns
Launchers: Rocket launchers that shoot rockets that shoot lightning!
Sniper Rifles: I have a sniper rifle that can take the head off a bandit at 100 meters. Also it lights the bandit on fire.
Shotguns: Acid. Shotgun. ACID. SHOTGUN. THERE IS AN ACID SHOTGUN

And this is just a *fraction* of the guns available. And guess what...they all look different, sound different, and feel different. The sound effects are good, the guns behave in interesting ways...though some do feel similar to other guns, they all manage to mix it up often enough that it does not feel like you're just using the same weapon with different skins.

Oh, and did I mention the grenade mods? Basically, you can carry 3 grenades (that capacity can be upgraded up to 6, I believe) and you can equip a grenade mod. The first and grenade mod you get is a "MIRV" mod.

When your grenades explode they launch other grenades.

WHEN.

YOUR

GRENADE

EXPLODES

IT LAUNCHES

OOOOOOOTHER GRENADES!

There are acid grenades, flame grenades, bouncing betty grenades, sticky grenades (complete with gun toting cowardly midgets for you to stick them too), telepoting grenades.

Oh yeah.

Teleporting grenades.

Now, you have every gun you could possibly want...who do you get to shoot it at? Well, I'm only partially through the game, but so far the enemies are fairly entertaining. There are two main types: Human enemies and alien enemies. Aliens are the wild life of Pandora, including scaled dog like critters to burrowing larva in the ground to flying sky monsters. Each of them have a weak point you can hit FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE and they all look very cool.

Human enemies are visually less exciting, most of them being nothing more than regular bandits. However, their guns and the nicely squishy way they explode when you drop a MIRV on them is always satisfying.

Now would be a good time to mention the graphics: They're colorful, stylish, and cell shaded. Now, if cell shading is not your thing, you might find this annoying...but personally, I think it really works with the quirky, off beat tone that they are trying to set.

See, that's another thing that this game does right that Hellgate did wrong: Tone. The game is quirky and offbeat from the first five seconds of its BRILLIANT opening to the shotgun toting midgets to the grindhouse movie style intros too all NPCs and boss monsters (fans of Tarentino will get a kick out of these).

The music is also fantastic, by the way.

Anywho, the gameplay is an entertaining and simple mix of gunning and RPG. You shoot bad guys with guns, they die, you pick up loot, equip the better stuff, sell the crappier stuff, level up, gain abilities that let you do cool things like turn invisible or make robotic turrets...we've seen this all before. However, its done so well and married perfectly with the FPS elements that the term Role Playing Shooter really applies.

...

Oh yeah, also, there's 4 player Co-op


Its not going to move you to tears, and its not an amazing artistic statment, but its not trying to be. All its trying to be is entertaining and charming and funny, and it blew me away on all three counts.


...dude, I just got a revolver that fires acid bullets.


Highs: Charming graphics, great music, awesome gunplay, lots of guns, simple but effective RPG, polished and unbuggy.
Lowers: Walking from place to place is a grind, and the driving segments are merely a side show. I'd have preferred they just give us fast travel so we can warp to the interesting parts rather than have to drive a cruddy buggy around.
Bottom Line: If you like shooters? Buy it. If you're needing an action RPG fix, buy it. If Hellgate: London appealed despite its flaws, BUY IT!


Score: 8.5 out of 10 bajillion guns.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Singularity Is Near

Its odd to find a book like this. In this day and age of apocalyptic scenarios and doomsday predictions, a world of 2012 hysteria and political carriers being built off of Global Warming scares, one is inundated with dystopian future and grim "we're all going to die/be miserable" tomorrow.

But then this book comes along and suggests that not only will the future be way nicer than previously anticipated but also that the future is going to be way more FUTURISTIC than previously anticipated.

The way to imagine it is thus: In the time between 1100 and 1200, we didn't change very much. People lived and died much as those that were born in 900 or in 1300 lived or died. Nationalities changed and wars were fought, but technology and the way of life stayed fairly constant. And then came the 15th century printing press, which took about 200 years to become fully entrenched in human affairs. Then in the 18th century, we got the steam engine. It took about 80 years for the steam engine's effects to be fully appreciated. In the 19th century, we invented the telephone, which was fully accepted by the 1950s. In the 1980s, we got the cellphone, which was fully adopted by the 1990s! Computers and the internet boomed with just the same speed...Moor's Law, a prediction made by a guy named Moor (astonishingly enough), states that computing power will increase along a predictable, exponential path.

And guess what! For the past 40 years of computing, it has been true. Well, mostly...there was a hiccup in the beginning as Moor overestimated the speed, so he revised and his revised Law is still used today.

Now, if you plot exponential growth, you'll notice that it starts off advancing slowly, then curves upwards till its rocketing up at incredible speeds.

This rocketing point is called the Singularity by the author of this book, Ray Kurzweil, and it will completely change everything in a massive change reaction that will take place over a few YEARS, and yet have more sweeping changes than we have had in ONE THOUSAND YEARS!

After the Singularity, things get rather comfortable. Amazing technology like nanomachines or virtual reality and genetic engineering and other things we can't even think of right now will banish most worldly problems, destroy the economy, and allow us to all live how we wish to live. Want to enhance yourself to think a billion times faster than you can now? Why not! Wanna live your life out in a VR booth, having adventures with other VR dwellers without ever moving? Sure!

And, of course, you can stay baseline. To the view of a baseline human, this future would appear rather similar to our own...the Enhanced (those who have altered their minds and bodies to be faster and smarter than the baselines) will be essentially human...but faster. They won't think the way we think now, and so there would be no reason why they would do any of the horrible things sci-fi authors love to predict. Ya know, things like enslave humanity, or force us to all Enhance ourselves, or anything dumb like that.

Why? What proof do I have that they will do this?

Well, I have only one thing: When you can produce anything, nothing material has value (Buddhist's wet dream) and so the only thing that has value is INFORMATION. And what are we if not information made manifest? We are the expression of information stored in our DNA, creating humans of marvelous complexity. And so, to destroy a human or any other living thing is destroying information, furthering the cause of entropy, and that would be bad...specially to beings capable of thinking of things on the scale of millions of years. And best of all, humans don't *really* need all that much, when we're thinking about this scale.

And so, a baseline will live in a paradise wherein they are provided by servile godlike beings who are always willing to step in and chat with their relatives. The more dickish Enhanced might condescend to humans, but we always have the ability to A) Enhance ourselves and smack them, or B) point out that the universe is big enough for everyone to be what they want to be or C) Just smile and nod and then go back to living in your paradise.

Now, what if you Enhance yourself and get nostalgic?

Well, who said that one has to STAY what you are. The ability to change from state to state would be within our grasp, so you can spend a few centuries as a free floating cloud of nanobots, then reform into a human body whenever you feel like it.

And so, we have a future wherein we design the children of humanity, and they in return, redesign us, allowing us to transcend our biology and become masters of our own destiny.


NOW!

Is this all too crazy optimistic? Possibly. See, this all hinges on one thing: MOORS LAW.

If Moors Law falls off and we stop seeing the same advances in computing technology, then we won't be able to develop A.I, which means we won't be able to figure out some answers to some very serious problems (Like, how do we make matter replicators? How can we live as long as we want too? How can we feed everyone?). Which means we will be in trouble.

However, if we continue to advance at the rate we are advancing, and if our RATE of advancement keeps advancing at the rate our rate of advancing is advancing, then we might see the Singularity by either 2040 or 2100.

I'm hoping for 2040, but planning for 2100.

See you on the other side.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I'm Batman

Okay. Review. Batman: Arkhum Asylum.




























BUY IT NOW!












That is all.